Re: Payne Stewart: The Definitive List of Death Jokes

From: Angela Whitefield (aimfor...)

On Thursday, October 28, 1999 at 8:00:00 PM UTC+13, Gerard wrote:
> Payne Stewart's final hole was a 4000mile dog leg to the left
> If a birdie is 1 under and an eagle 2 under...Is a LearJet worth 5 under?
> What was the furthest hole-in-one in pro golf history?
> Payne Stewart: 1,479 nautical miles (from Orlando, Florida to Mina, South
> Dakota
> Teed off in Florida, hole's in Texas, landed in South Dakota...Does South
> Dakota count as the rough?
> How does Payne Stewart's jet depressurize?
> When it gets a hole in one.
> How did he know his plane was in trouble??
> It started going putt.. putt.. putt... putt... putt... putt
> Obviously Payne Stewart won the golf tournament... He finished 6 under.
> Biggest divot he ever left!
> Unlike his Golf Balls, Payne did not stay in the air very long!
> Where can you find Payne Stewart's new line of clothing?
> All over South Dakota.
> The plane with Payne crashes mainly in the plains.
> Stewart's last words?
> Hey, what does this latch do?
> What does Big Bird and Payne Stewart have in common?
> Both are goofy looking and neither one can fly.
> What is Payne Stewarts' handicap?
> His flight crew.
> Uh oh, Payne Stewart's driver has gone cold...He's as good as dead.
> What does Monica Lewinsky and Payne Stewart have in common?
> They both wore ugly hats and went down.
> Why didn't Payne Stewart win more championships?
> Prefers to work under pressure!
> Payne Stewart is obviously a better driver than his pilot!
> Plane troubles??? Mechanic said "I guess that the plane wasn't up to par"
> What's the difference between Jimmy Stewart and Payne Stewart?
> Jimmy Stewart knew how to fly a plane.
> It's a shame about Payne Stewart, going from the most recognizable figure in
> professional golf to the most unrecognizable in so short a time.
> Payne's last words..."I should have used my driver!"

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